Christmas Everyday

Doubting Doubt and Other Stories of Fearlessness

One Foot In Front Of The Other

The year has gone by so fast. I’ve been wanting to share my feelings and thoughts that have been bottlenecked in my mind and have not made it yet to my fingertips.

This week, I had an opportunity to travel to Nashville and attend the CMA’s. When I was first invited, my knee jerk reaction was to say no. I don’t know anything about country music and I had never been to Nashville. I am so blessed to have been able to have the chance.

Sometimes your biggest enemy can be yourself. Your reflex can keep you away from some really amazing experiences. Nashville is an amazing place, but that we’ll get to that in another post!

If I could describe what it was like for me this past year, I lived everyday with one edict.

Do something that scares you everyday.
This is how my inner conversations would go: “Are you afraid to do this? Why? Too bad. You have to do something that scares you everyday.”

My year has been a string of moments and days in which I quietly overcame silent fears and hundreds of tears, to keep going on my journey to pen a famous Christmas record.

“How am I going to afford this?”
“What if no one helps me?”
“What if they don’t like this?”
“What if I don’t make it?”
“What if this doesn’t happen?”

The doubt can go on and on. If I listened to this reflex, I would have safety from my fears. The thing about safety from doubt and fear is that you end up with a whole lot of nothing.

Safety = Nothing

And yeah. I’ve failed MANY times this year. I would be remiss if I didn’t admit that the attempts and effort sometimes did not succeed.

Every time I fell down, I got right back up and told myself, One foot in front of the other.

Looking back. Some examples:
• I wrote songs for half a dozen artists this year. No one wanted my songs.
• Couldn’t afford record producers. So I produced my own records.
• Couldn’t afford to record the songs. So I started a Kickstarter and asked for help.
• Was afraid to ask for help. Learned you cannot be an island, help is required.
• No major label would sign me. So I started my own label.
• Didn’t know how to sell physical CDs. So I learned and got a distribution deal.
• Didn’t know any music supervisors. Cashed in all my frequent flier miles, packed granola bars and Purell and tried to meet some.

The learning curve was steep, but winning is a hollow feeling if you’ve never felt loss.

I do live Christmas everyday. Yes, I live amongst Christmas ornaments and songs in my home and in my world daily. I see Christmas everywhere I go, because in my heart and mind I am in a constant battle against doubt.

Christmas is the season of perpetual hope. I live in this season everyday.

So with all the times I got knocked down this year, the airwaves have finally lifted me up. For the first time in my life – “Fa La La” has received the first of many national radio spins. This year, my single “Fa La La,” the first song I ever produced, was added throughout Cumulus Radio stations and Clear Channel stations nationwide. Thank you to Cincinnati and Toledo, Ohio for being the first cities to spread around my songs of holiday cheer.

So remember:

Safety=Nothing.
Do something that scares you everyday.
One foot in front of the other. 

Post Edit Note: I was looking for an image for this post – all my other attempts had failed. Then I FOUND THIS. Then I uploaded and it was accepted. One foot in front of the other is really something I have said to myself this entire year. Thank you divine intervention. I am open to the whimsy my life has been blessed with. I hope everyone enjoys! 😉 Clearly I was meant to share this.